And I love it.

For once the state that is the dick of America did something worthwhile, something I can agree with and even lend my full fledged support to. Amazing isn’t it? Life never fails to amaze me.

The Florida Senate seems to be just as tired of the whole ‘sagging pants’ thing as Dennis Leary is, and myself too. Leary did a great fucking comedy deal where the punch line was ‘Pull up your pants!’, and in doing so voiced the mind of a many an American. Now the more or less worthless state of Florida is doing something to make itself noticed, and it doesn’t even involve stealing an election. Awesomtastic!

This bill is aimed at public schools, the punishment being suspension for students who fail to comply. Nothing major really, nothing that will deter too many students even. That isn’t the point though. The point is that someone is trying to do something about a problem. Now, all of you Democratic types who just so happen to rule the Congress, pay attention: someone is trying to do something about a problem…a problem, a problem, a problem…

Getting back on track.

The Florida city of Riviera Beach also passed a similar law on Tuesday, but not just for public schools, but as a city ordinance. Repeat offenders are subject to a maximum penalty of 60 days in jail. I love it. I guess this is the political version of ‘fuck your fashion statement, it sucks’.

Anyway, I think more states should pass laws of this nature. Not because I think the government should regulate how each person expresses themselves, but because wearing your jeans halfway down your ass has the effect of making one look retarded. Besides, as the French once said, ‘it’s ugly’.

Link and out.

Well, not me (actually they do owe me money and a fucking lot of it, but that is another story entirely) personally, but they do owe people on the Mexican border a substantial amount of money.

For some long time now one Eloisa Tamez has been battling the U.S. government over land rights. Specifically her right to keep her land in her family. The government has been trying, and in some cases, successful at seizing land all along the Mexican border in order that they may build their new wall/fence. Tamez viewed government demands poorly, and decided to tell the government to go to hell.

Today a federal judge has ruled that the government is not allowed to seize her land without first attempting to negotiate a price. Tamez is looking at this decision as a victory, which I suppose it is. Not the victory that I would like to have seen, but a victory none the less. My question is thus: If Tamez is unimpressed with the offer and refuses, does the government then become owners of the land anyway? Will they still have to offer money in order to acquire the land, or will they be allowed to simply seize the land as they have been trying too for months?

In my not so humble fucking opinion the government is wrong in this case. Some of these people living along miles and miles of the Mexican border have been landowners for decades. The land has been in their families for many, many years; they are absolutely correct in wanting to hold on to it. So a federal judge ordering the government to first offer a price (and I’m not even certain it is a fair price) is of little use to landowners everywhere if the government can still seize the land at the end of the day.

For those of you who remain unaware of land seizure issues this case is not something new. The government, federal and state is allowed to seize your land for public use. Normally however, a monetary agreement is made first. Along the Mexican border apparently makes for a different issue. That and having an idiot for President. The ruling of this federal judge is not sufficient to the task, and unless I miss my mark, the government will still swallow acre after acre of land along the border for their expensive and otiose effort at halting illegal immigrants.

Link and out.

Wondering about my plight with the killed coffee pot saga of yestermorn. And I know you are, especially if you live in the Northwest…losing a coffee pot is like losing a member of the family.

Anyway, the slain coffee pot has been replaced. It’s successor is a veritable champion among coffee pots, stainless steel, filters, programming and all that crap…but its most admirable feature, 14 cups of caffeinated joy. It is a beautiful thing.

Out.

6 Mar 08

0900: Wake up at the ass crack of mid-morning. Still tired, but get up anyway.

0907: Need coffee, taking the most direct route to the magical coffee machine.

0909: Darkest discovery of 21ST Century to date; the magical coffee machine has expired.

0909.12: Humanities gravest and most despairing crisis begins.

0910: Enact ‘Crisis Counter-Measure #003’.

0912: Crisis Counter-Measure Team (CCMT) arrives on scene. 33 seconds late. Will have to reprimand when current emergency is contained.

0913: Brainstorming session begins.

0917: Brainstorming session ends due to lack of participation, which in turn is due to the expiration of magical coffee machine.

0917.12: Despair sets in.

0917.20: Great wave of depressed fatigue settles in. Hope dies.

0919: Counter-measure #003-007 enacted. SCBS (Single Cup Brewing System) works with moderate success.

0926: Aforementioned counter-measure is scraped due to a severely impaired sense of timeliness.

0926.43: Second blast wave of depression and despair hits. Injury level classified as ‘severe’.

0929: Affected persons now suffering from fear-induced rage. Crisis level upgraded to ‘Class 3’. Blame falls on the failure of the primitive SCBS. Secondary blame placed on ineffective CCMT.

0931: CCMT briefing.

0933: CCMT recommends enacting counter-measure #003-001, Four Cup Automated Caffeination System (FCACS). Argument ensues.

0934: Argument contained. CCMT upgrades Crisis level to ‘Class 2’.

0935: Counter-Measure #003-001 enacted.

0939: Counter-Measure #003-001 proves to be a resounding success. CCMT breathes sigh of relief.

0941: Side effects of 2ND Depression wave are downgraded for all affected persons, injury level now ‘Moderate’.

0947: Second use of counter-measure #003-001. Counter-measure is still effective.

0952: Second CCMT brainstorming session.

0956: CCMT recommends braving stricken world to find a replacement for magical coffee pot.

0959: Decision is made to act upon CCMT recommendation.

1007: Counter-measure #003-001 still effective. Hope flickers in the west.

1015: CCMT identifies those responsible for emergency, begin planning counter-attack.

1023: CCMT finalizes plans to replace magical coffee machine.

1028: Crisis level is downgraded to ‘Class 3’.

1037: Final preparations are made for Operation Divine Justice.

1037.01: Hope sweeps west.

1038: Victims of ‘Catastrophic Dawn’ are recovering; injury level is downgraded to ‘Mild’.

1047: Counter-measure #003-001 still at maximum effectiveness.

1100: Operation Divine Justice launch time.

Seems it is going to suck a little more too, at least in Mexico. The sad and pathetic thing is the fact that you don’t even have to get married for it to suck.

There is a proposal in Mexico that will (if passed that is) impose a fine on those who suddenly walk out on the marriage. Never thought that not getting married would cost as much as the fucking divorce, but what do I know?

And this, people, is why I think marriage sucks giant donkey balls…and is a mistake I’ll make exactly once. Oh wait…I already did, and now am free of her.

Link and out.

I don’t have the perfect answer for that question (well actually I do, it’s just most people won’t agree with me) but I have the answer that has worked hard and without fail for the last decade or so. Sunday is the day of the week reserved for hangovers. Yup.

Occasionally I’ll catch a football game during one of these horrendous little forays into that alcohol clouded world of pain and nausea, but mostly I just want to lie down and fucking die. Which, incidentally, is exactly what I did today…all day. Even coffee wasn’t able to revive me today, not for long anyway.

The amazing thing is that the next time I see my friends I’ll probably get plowed again. Even though I already know the disastrous consequences that morning will bring. Thus I have come to a conclusion…you might call it a ground breaking conclusion. Or you might call it an ‘about fucking time conclusion’. Really though the description of this conclusion is meaningless, it is the conclusion itself that is of any importance.

Conclusion: I’m either very stupid, a very slow learner, or just crazy. Maybe all three. I don’t know…I just know that Sundays are for hangovers. Thank you for reading and…yeah, I got nothing. Later days.

Or find your goddamn reason to drink…I won’t care. But if you want to use my reason for drinking, then by all means, get to drinking.

Terminus (and I just found this out) is the Roman god of boundaries, and today is his fucking day. The celebration is called Terminalia, and many a sacrifice was made in his honor in order that he would continue to protect the boundaries of the home. Now, I’m not saying go out and kill a baby or anything, but if you are going to drink in his honor, at least give him a drink or twelve. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the gesture, the lack of a proper sacrifice notwithstanding.

Later days people and enjoy the weekend.

Free and fair elections in Pakistan.

That was what Mushy promised his nation and the rest of the world. Well, the Pakistani’s had their elections and Mushy got pummeled all around. I mean seriously beaten.

But, despite receiving one of the biggest political poundings in history Mushy is going to remain in office. Only to assist of course with the new government. Right. Even with the country clamoring for the dictator to step down and get the fuck out of sight, Mushy is going to stand his ground.

Well, seems the global community has now had its annual lesson on the effectiveness of ‘free and fair democratic elections’. Congratulation Mushy and Bushy…you are free to remain supreme assholes at the forefront of the world.

Link and out.

When I learned that Kosovo had separated and formed an independent state I didn’t figure the Serbs would be overjoyed. In fact I was pretty certain that violence would soon ensue; I just didn’t think it would be such a swift transition from bellicose words to frightening and bloody action. Guess I was wrong.

The reason for the violence that took place at border posts, was because of a rumor that Kosovo would soon be raising the national flag at the border. How strange that a free state would want to put their flag at the border crossing…unheard of. So in response to that highly abnormal want of Kosovo mobs of several hundred men decided to destroy U.N. customs and police offices at two separate border crossings.

Another reason is the belief, and I’m going to assume that it is a misguided, fear driven belief, that Serbs still in Kosovo will be cut off from Serbia. Now, I have not seen any declaration that Kosovo will be sealing its borders to Serbia. Though with the kind of behavior Serbia is displaying it might not be a bad idea. Maybe they could just deport the Serbs…since they don’t want to be there any damn way.

A large problem is in the making here, people, the beginnings of a bloody civil war are being laid. See, northwest Kosovo is home to thousands of Serbs, and they don’t believe that they should be part of the new Kosovo state. These people are receiving the aid and support of both Serbia and Russia; Russian ambassador Vitaly Churkin has already issued warnings against ‘repressive measures’ should Serbs in Kosovo disagree with the free state. Nice Russia, real fucking nice. You lost your foothold in the region nearly two decades ago and so you’ve decided to support the biggest dicks in the region in order to maintain your ever relaxing grip. Way to charge forward into the future.

Well, with so many hands in the Kosovo/Serbia pot I wonder what will happen next. Serbia has the backing of Russia, and is quickly sliding into ‘asshole gear’. The Serbs desire for deeper integration into the EU is all but dead in the water now; Serbs in Kosovo have already resorted to violence and Russia is telling them it is okay. The U.N., the vast majority of the EU and America are backing Kosovo. What will happen next? I’m betting that the Serbs will do what Serbs do best; war.

Link and out.

Sniffle sniffle…the sounds of a whining, foot-stamping, protesting, intolerant and irate Serbia. Cheers me up every time I think about it.

As you’ve no doubt heard the ever friendly Serbs are bitching over the formation of the Kosovo state; they refuse to recognize it. Forget the fact that almost every nation in the EU has recognized the state, and that the U.S. has recognized the state, all-important and worldly Serbia isn’t go to recognize the new state. Big fucking shock there.

Furthermore, the Serbs want us to know, they are angry at the U.S. of A for acknowledging the new state. So our militaristic friends in Serbia have recalled their ambassador from Washington D.C. in protest. Huh, I wonder what they’ll do with the property now that it is unoccupied and free of its tyrannical, despot spewing former owners?

Don’t you just love world politics? Link and out.