I was going to plagiarize the hell out of the title of this post, but I figured that would be rude, but after reading the latest from the Daily Kos (you all remember them right, the liberal Satanist bunch…) I almost had to copy and paste.

“FOX Nutork: Now with more dumb!”

That is the title of the Kos article and it is fucking terrific. Talks about the new threat to western power and society, ‘killer robots’, that the Islamofascists will soon be releasing upon us all. Also mentions ‘killer vacuum cleaners’, so next time you go shopping for a new household appliance ensure that it ‘Islamofascist Safe’.

Anyway…here is the link. Out.

Any idiot should be able to figure this one out, at least I would think they could. Seems they have a different breed of idiots in Australia though. Possibly a more abysmally stupid form of idiot than we have in the White House.

Two thieves decided to rob a club in Sydney last night and so with that decision in mind they armed themselves with machetes and went to work. Too bad they didn’t notice the 40-50 bikes sitting outside the club.

One of the would be thieves was tackled and hog-tied by the bikers while the other jumped over a balcony. He was caught a few minutes later by the police. Stupid fucks.

Link and out.

Maybe overkill in this case; a German man used a fire extinguisher to put out a cigarette. The man emptied the contents of the extinguisher all over his apartment in order to put out the smoke that his girlfriend lit. He is through with her now, though I shouldn’t think that is terribly surprising.

That is a new one…never heard of someone going to such a length to express their distaste with smoking.

Link and out.

You’ll have to excuse the bad form of Shakespeare there…I couldn’t resist. Then I again I really didn’t try to either. Anyway…the fucking point here is that it seems the world is sliding back in time, not moving forward as all evident, outward signs would have you believe. And you know who is to blame…SATAN!!!

Umm…

Right, the latest stupid-hat-wearing jack ass in charge in the Roman Catholic Church wants to pin the blame on Satan. Blame for fucking everything, or at least is seems that way. You’re not gonna believe what this unimaginable fuckstick has announced to the world now…I love this guy. He makes George look like a well-rounded, semi-intelligent person. And I must say, that is a fucking task! Bravo Benedick…I love it when a plan comes together.

The latest ‘holy fucking Christ’ news to come out of the Vatican is that the Pope wants to create, damn I love this…I can’t stop laughing, makes it a bit difficult to type, the Pope wants to create ‘exorcist squads’ to combat the rising threat of the Satan.

And pause for more laughter…

Are you fucking serious?! Give me a fucking break you ball busting imbecile! You stubborn, German shithead! Moving on…

Yeah, the Pope wants an ‘army of exorcists’ so that every bishop across the devil besieged planet will have an exorcist at his beck and fucking call, when ever the call to arms is heard. Give me a break. Is this fucking guy for real?

Oh yeah…I almost forgot. Can you guess whose signature is to be found in the Harry Potter books? That is correct…SATAN!!! I had no idea that the most feared and reviled creature in Christian mythology was a female writer from England. Come on Benedick, I would have thought you could do better than that; fucking everyone knows that America is the Great Satan. Get your fucking facts straight. Ass.

Alright, I’m gonna go now…still laughing at this one, and feeling an incredible urge to go find an old priest and a young priest…

Link and out.

In Burma that is, the setting for the fourth Rambo (one of the best series ever, and if you don’t like…fuck off!), where the former Vietnam veteran launches an offensive against an enemy worthy of the most complete wrath.

The state has issued strict orders to DVD hawkers not to stock or sell the latest Rambo, fearing that it may inspire some sort of reprisal from the public. Seems to me that such an action by the people of this abused nation would be right inline for a society ruled by military law; after all nobody sits at the top forever. And if you are willing to allow the use of force to subjugate an entire nation to your express rule then you should know that sooner or later, those same people will impress upon you the very same logic.

Link and out.

And that is the story we are sticking too! Damn it all to hell.

Wait…oh yeah, some dude in a Helsinki hospital found a mouse head in his dinner. The hospital says that the man’s health was not affected by the rodent head, but that they had not found the rest of the mouse.

Bringing Belgium in now, the hospital stated that the head probably came from a bag of Belgian vegetables, and again, they cannot find the rest of the mouse. Could be anywhere in Europe, being that it is a Belgian mouse. Sneaky bastards.

Link and out.

And they have too much time on their hands. WAY too much time.

Some guy received a letter on 3 Jan 08, which was sent on 20 Dec 07. The sender lives about 11 kilometers.

Said recipient of belated letter decides to calculate how long it would have taken a snail to arrive at his home, from the sender’s home. He figured out that the snail would have made it faster than the letter; regular mail is as slow as snails, slower actually.

I guess I should have paid attention to those bullshit math problems about trains leaving from Bum Fuck nowhere heading to Shithole, Everywhere. Who would have thought there is an actual real world application for that crap? Strange.

Anyway, link and out.

Huckabee is Crying

Oops…lamenting, not crying. What the hell, yeah, he is crying over his loss in South Carolina. Whining little pansy.

Question Huckafuck, what the hell were you expecting? A fucking win? You’ve got to be shitting me…please tell me you’re kidding with that one. Please, if there is a higher fucking power watching this ridiculous soap opera that is Planet Earth, tell me you are not fucking serious in thinking you could have pulled a win out. More to the point, would you be a champ and let the country know that you already know that you don’t stand a damn chance of taking the White House? I’d truly appreciate that.

See Mike, the problem with you and your near deceased campaign is that you feel this revolting need to pander to absolutely everyone. You cannot seem to take a fucking stand…did you take a page out of McCain’s book? Not too mention that when you decide to run your mouth, well, fuck man, I don’t know how to describe the liquid shit that comes driveling out. Why don’t we take it one stupid fucking statement at a time…yeah, let’s do that.

“[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that’s what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards.”

Wow.

Damn.

Holy fucking Christ.

Now that is one hell of a stupid statement Mike. I mean that one just about shatters the fucking Stupid Meter. What on earth would possess you say something so abysmally stupid, not too mention you more or less hung your political career with that statement. Did I mention that we don’t mix religion and politics in this country? Oh, yeah, I did….take a look.

“A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband…”

Damn, Mike, another ball-bustlingly stupid statement. Where do you come up with this shit? Are you confusing the political system of the United States with some two-bit, god-forsaken Baptist church in bum-fuck nowhere? Because that is what it seems is happening to the eyes of this author. Do you even bother to give a moment’s pause before dropping these steaming piles of shit onto the fucking podium? Do you forget little things like the press being all present and fucking accounted for at your speeches? I mean really, who the hell believes this holy-roller horseshit? Asshole.

Now I’m sure I could find many more statements that transform most normal, sentient people into temporarily stunned mutes, but I’ve no need. The aforementioned statements are more than fucking sufficient to sink you Mike. You may not realize it just yet, but believe me you; your campaign is dead in the water. So do the country a favor, drop out of the race, go back to your humid, insect infested state and live your good Christian life all you fucking want, just keep your bombastic fucking religious views to yourself, you lying sack of shit.

In Beijing, China that is. Now, being a smoker I find this to more than just a little amusing as the recent wave of anti-smoking laws washing over my own country are maddening. So, finally something amusing is happening with anti-smoking laws.

This place in Beijing, a restaurant is on the verge of going out of business as customers are finding other places to dine. I love it.

Another reason that makes this story so thoroughly amusing is the fact that of all the things that China has to worry about, the government has chosen to crack down on smoking. Never mind the countless toxic waste sites, the deplorable work conditions, a slew of other, non-smoking related health concerns could be listed here but it isn’t really necessary. But hey, I guess the Chinese government doesn’t want it’s populace dying of lung cancer…maybe they are fans of a faster form of chemically induced death. You know, shit like mercury poisoning and all those other fun, happy-happy, joy-joy toxins floating around China. I know uranium, lead, and mercury poisoning are my chosen ways to exit this rock.

Anyway, here is the link and I am out.

Says the economy in response to The Chimp in Chief loosing his shitty plan for the U.S. economy.  Oh, wait…the economy took a nose dive…right.

 Link and out.