Keep in mind that I don’t despise, loathe and hold in absolute contempt each and every police officer of this nation. But more than a few fall neatly into that category, and perhaps it is just me, but it seems like the number of assclown cops in that ghastly level of authoritative hell is growing daily.

The latest inductees into to this elite class of loutish and graceless fucksticks happen to be members of the Albany Police Department (and you thought I was going to go with the Seattle PD…didn’t you?). One Matthew Fargione and one Nick Abrams can now list a new accolade on their soon to be highly needed resumes. Dicks.

Anyway, these two fuckers pulled over a lady named Lisa Shutter for ‘failing to use her turn signal’, as the report states. No ticket was issued nor was an arrest made. Instead the two cops accused her of drug use.

“You fit the profile. You’re a white girl in a rental car.” This from one of the cops to Shutter. I had no idea that a white girl driving a rental car was the spitting image of a crack whore, or any other drug type. I guess I must have missed that definitive sign while I was reading through the manual. I’ll have to go back and review, you know, so I can better inform myself and to avoid being harassed by cops because I’m ‘a white guy with long hair and a field jacket’. I’d hate to waste the most important time of our valiant civil guardians.

The evening only worsened for Shutter.

The cops then decided to reach in the car and grab her cell phone, asking questions about phone calls made and the like. He also decided that it was ever so important to review all the information on the phone, contacts, calls and so forth…and then he decided to call one of the contacts, a woman named Mandie.

More accusations flew at that point, with the cop asking Mandie whether or not Shutter was due to pick her up that night. Mandie responded with a ‘what the hell are you talking about’. So, to review so far, pulled over by two idiot cops, told you are a crack whore because you’re ‘a white girl in a rental car’, your personal phone seized with out virtue of a warrant, and your childhood friend accused of much the same crimes as you already have been. Outstanding police work.

Next is my favorite part. I honestly don’t know why more cops don’t behave in this manner; after all, it is SUCH endearing behavior.

The cops next ordered Shutter out of the drug attracting rental car and proceeded to search the car, and her. Upon finding her wallet empty of cash they demanded to know whether or not the money had been spent on crack (personally, I prefer dealers who use debit cards). Now keep in mind, people, that Shutter never consented to a search of anything, let alone her person. The search of her body was, is, perhaps one of the dumbest fucking things a cop has done in the last ten years. You guessed it…CAVITY SEARCH!

A cavity search of a female, performed by men. I could swear that there are certain laws and regulations that prevent that sort of thing. Also the searches (like her car and phone) were performed without benefit of a warrant or an arrest, or even just cause. One universally spectacular fuck-up after another by the boys from the Albany Police Department…bravo!

Upon finding no evidence of any wrongdoing, the police were forced to let her go…with the following statement:

“You’re lucky….better not drive around here again.”

Now, all sarcasm aside, the behavior of these two cops is nothing less than atrocious. But there is something far worse than the humiliating and unjust experience Shutter was at the very center of.

The Albany Police Department isn’t doing much of anything about it. Shutter did want to make a complaint to a civilian oversight committee, but did not on the advice that the Internal Affairs Department was better suited to handle the investigation.

Well, nothing of note has been accomplished as of this date. The event occurred in December of 2007. It is now nearly mid-March of 2008 and not a goddamn thing has been done to the either of the cops involved, the IA department, or the Albany PD. Shutter did eventually report the incident to the civilian oversight committee, but so far, nothing has been done there either.

So Lisa Shutter, my advice to you, find yourself a lawyer and sue the living shit out of the Albany Police Department, and while you’re at it, sue that useless parasite of a civilian oversight group.

Link and out.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 10th, 2008 at 6:53 pm and is filed under Kill that fucker!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.