Bin Laden Peace Corps
Osama: No! You cannot make peace with the west! You make pieces with the west! Haven’t I taught you anything?
Omar (son of Osama): Relax father…I’m just trying to push forward in a peaceful manner.
Osama: No! You must follow my example! DEATH TO THE GREAT SATAN! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Ak-
Omar: Yeah, I got it dad, God is great and all that jazz. But what if I don’t want to blow myself up for god? Ever think about that?
Osama: …what? You dare to question me? You dare to question the will of Allah? Allahu Ak-
Omar: ENOUGH with the god talk dad! Had that shit shoved down my throat all my life…yeah yeah yeah, a pile of virgins are waiting for me in heaven. Let me ask ya dad, you ever seen what 72 virgins do to my hemp sheets? It’s a bloody mess…impossible to clean out completely.
Osama: NO! You must fight the Great Satan, you must not dishonor Allah, you must not dishonor me! I am the Scourge of the West, and you my son must shoulder my legacy! You must-
Omar: Yeah yeah yeah, I’ll get to work on that dad. But in the meantime, why don’t YOU go blow yourself up for Allah? You can shout Allahu Akbar until your balls fall off for all I care. I’ll just be over here smoking a bowl and watching the TV. Okay?
Osama: No! I must run the resistance for Allah! I will force the infidels out of the holy lands of Islam! Allahu Ak-
Omar: Holy fucking Christ dad! Enough with the god shit already! I get it, I get it…you know you’re wound so damn tight anymore you wouldn’t know what to do with 72 virgins-
—Here follows an explosion somewhere an Islamic shithole—
Out.