Alright, I lied, I’m not off to get drunk out of my mind just yet. One last public service announcement before the debauchery begins.

For those of you living in the greatest state in the Union, Washington State that is (and if you don’t agree, well…go to hell) you’ve no doubt seen those ads on television courtesy of the Highway Patrol. You know, the ones with that irritating fuckstick Brian Urcino, or whatever the hell his name is, driveling on about nighttime seatbelt checks. Yeah, those ones. The ones that make you want to strangle yourself with barbwire just to escape the irritation this jackoff causes.

Well here is MY fucking announcement. Seattle police, Washington State highway patrol: GET A FUCKING CLUE AND STOP WASTING MY FUCKING TAX DOLLARS YOU SELF-IMPORTANT ASSCLOWNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You and all those blue-shirted idiots are out and about ensuring we’re all wearing a god damn seatbelt in the middle of the night because sooooo many people die at night when not wearing seatbelts. Couple of things here you cock smoking Gestapo wannabes: 1. People don’t die at night from not wearing a seatbelt, IDIOTS die at night via having their dumb asses ejected from the fucking car and hitting the freeway at 90 miles an hour. 2. If some jack ass won’t wear his seatbelt who fucking cares if he dies, I just hope the fool hasn’t managed to leave some idiot spawn child behind on my planet prior to his death. 3. Why don’t you go and actually DO YOUR GOD DAMN JOBS?! Yeah, novel fucking idea I know, but why aren’t you focusing on a rapidly rising violent crime rate? Afraid you might actually have to do something worth your fucking paycheck? Assholes. Try this for a change, crack down on meth, run down these little brainless wonders who decide it’s a good fucking idea to shoot people on the street, or wait…here’s a good one, how about going after people like child molesters’, rapists, and so forth.

So yeah Brian what-ever-the-fuck your name is, you are officially an irritating pile of molding dog shit. Do me a favor and stay the fuck off TV and try doing your fucking job!
Prick.

“As you can clearly see, 2% of YouTube viewers think we are innocent, and 98% think we’re full of shit.”

Really guys, your using a video posted on fucking YouTube for your defense case?  Give me a fucking break!  In a world going increasingly fucking crazy Blackwater is now adding to the masses of the completely insane.  Not that Blackwater was anything other than homicidally mad to begin with, but now they have gone completely over the top.

Two reports, one from the Iraqi government and one from the US Military lay the blame squarely on the shoulders of Blackwater and their villainous little mercenary thugs.  A third report soon to be released by the FBI will almost certainly agree with the first two reports.  So what do our greedy, murderous little friends at Blackwater do?  They find their major, case-breaking defense at YouTube!  Well fuck me sideways, I had no freaking clue that sludge pulled off the internet was a valid legal defense for out and out homicide.  If only O.J. could find a video on YouTube that declares his innocence.

I hope these insatiable, holier-than-thou, miserable fucking curs wind up rotting in a Iraqi prison for the rest of fucking time.  Un-fucking-believable.

Alright people…I’m out for the weekend.  Remember, drinking beer=keeping hydrated.

A fit nation…NOT!

Something fun to start your day with, or at least its how I started my day, looking at a map declaring that the vast majority of the U.S. is filled with a bunch of fat bastards too lazy to do anything but inhale junk food and watch TV. All kinds of fun.

The depressing part is that in just over twenty years the country went from being in relatively good shape to being fat, dumb and lazy. Even in Washington State, which used to be one of the better states to live in as far as fat went, has seen an increase in land born whales. Thanks Bill…really appreciate that, you computerized fuck.

But hey, good news comes too. Maybe all you people out there who have been saying you will go to the gym will ACTUALLY get your ass to the gym one of these days. It is sad how out of shape this country has become, and its because we live such a sedentary fucking lifestyle filled with video games, Doritos, six hours of television, and my favorite, an unwillingness to fucking walk across a damn parking lot. Yes, you, the asshole who is one hundred pounds overweight, the one that drives around the parking lot sixteen fucking times to get a spot as close to the fucking door as they can. Lazy prick.

I suppose that is enough for now. Like the map?